#AcidAttacks #Iran #MySister

Dear Sister, the news was so devastating that I found myself staring at the mirror for long minutes, imagining how would I have felt if I was in your shoes.

Oh sister, it is unlikely to have seen you around; we live in different cities after all. I’ve probably never seen you in supermarkets, coffee shops, at the movies or while we are at the hair salon waiting for our hairs’ to be washed and brushed, talking about our lives and our society; but seeing you yesterday on the news was as if I had seen you before.

Back to reality; when I saw you, when I heard what had happened to you, I started staring at myself; staring and thinking: "how would have my life be if I was her? Would anyone care to look at me anymore? Would my husband love me the way he had loved me before?"

Did you ask yourself the same questions? Did you also had the jitters for your loved ones emotions?

Or did the pain of the liquid scattered at your face and body was so unbearable that the rest seemed irrelevant?

I have been reading the news five times a day everyday, for the past few years and somehow I think that by reading how ugly our world has turned out to be, I have blocked my emotions. And even worst, I have been telling myself that this emotional "immunity" is what my job requires. Isn’t that silly?

A year ago someone told me that the media is screwing our society; "how so?" I asked. "You open a newspaper and the headline is, for example, "women and children killed in massacre in Syria," and then on the same page it says, "giant panda gives birth to triplets," it is as if they are trying to dehumanize what is happening in battle fields and in general, in the world. At least that’s how I see it!”

She got me wondering, (don’t get me wrong, I got upset at first; after all our colleagues and friends risk their lives everyday to make sure people get the first hand news, and someone dares to say that journalists and the media are the evil?) but still she got me wondering, are we really doing that? has the media become an instrument to downplay what is important? Am I, as a part of this outlet, downplaying what has happened to you sister by referencing you as the third person, someone who has been the victim, period?

“Being objective is an important part of being a journalist”, my professor once said. But I'm still human aren't I? I have cried and laughed so many times when I read the news, so I wonder, does that mean that I’m a bad journalist? Am I throwing away my professionalism by letting my feelings get the best of me?

Oh my sister, with all that being said, how can I write neutrally about your pain? The pain that is tearing you apart and is closer than ever to each and one of us. This fear, this dreadful reality is something that I cannot bear.

But my sister, what have I done to ease your pain? Have I showed you enough support? Have I done anything to show you how much I care and how devastating the news was? Your beauty and your youth have gone away, so has my beliefs and faith; and I know that my guilty conscience is not enough for you dear sister.

I read the news on a Saturday morning: "A 27- year- old woman was attacked with acid in Isfahan." First reaction: we are the same age, and you won't even know that. But over the past few days I have learned so much about you. I know that you are a delightful person who cares about the people around her and tries to help them with any means she can. Even if that means bringing clothing to a girl whose father is in prison. Second reaction: What is happening to us? Has morality changed meanings to something that I’m not familiar with?

Oh dear sister I only know your name, your desire to help others and with a broken heart, your new scars that you will carry with you from now on. I don’t know whether you are religious or not, whether you believe in heaven and hell; and to be honest, I don’t even care. I don’t care about how you dress or how you act, if you are in a “white marriage” relationship or not, these all seem redundant now, so does everything else, except your youth and your stolen beauty.

Sister, I’ve heard that you try to stay strong, that every inch of your being is fighting. I praise you because of that. I also praise you for being you, who ever you are. And I hope one day your name would be remembered in our books, as a hero that you are. You have giving courage and morality a new meaning; a meaning that needs to be hashtagged from now on.

It is my fault, I'm sorry

   A few days ago, an elementary school in the city of Piranshahr, which is located in West Azerbaijan province in Iran got on fire and 45 school girls were hurt. 

   Hours after the incident, it was clear that the oil heater was to blame (along with the janitor and the teacher and no one else!) for the fire break out.

33 students were right in the middle of the hassle and eight of them were badly injured. Now keep in mind that we are talking about nine year old girls who would probably want a good appearance in the future, let alone wanting to live! Girls who probably walk to school in these cold days and were looking forward to the end of the first semester so they could enjoy playing in the snow.

   The Minister of Education was rushed to Piranshahr to find out some of these girls need to be transferred to a better hospital with the needed equipment. 

   Well, so far there is nothing wrong with this picture, except the fire itself. But the situation got more interesting when Hamidreza Hajibabayi, the responsible minister, giggled after he was asked whether he was actually thinking of resignation after this. Especially when he was excepted to resign a month ago after a bus full of high school girls crashed and 26 students were killed.

   However, Hajibabayi found the question so bizarre that it seemed he didn't have any choice but to answer it with an heartbreaking humour: "Should we go ahead and fire some journalists? If you people had told us earlier, we would take care of the school and this would never happen!

Soon after this, different media outlets published Hajibabayi's quote and one of them actually asked Iranian nation to help them mention some of the errors of the ministry since they seemed incapable of finding those themselves.

   Did I, as a journalist, feel guilty? Was it actually our fault that these "girls of Iran" are struggling for their lives day after day, without no one taking the blame? 

My answer to the above is yes. 

   It is our fault that the Ministry of Education has better things to do than actually doing the one thing they are responsible for. 

   It is our fault that when we knew winter time brings such horrific incidents every single year, we didn't take some time to inform the Ministry that our children's' lives is in danger. 

It does't matter whether we have the power to get their attention or encourage them to make a change, it is our fault that we lack such power.

   And finally, it is our fault that we have never inform the minister of the true meaning of "responsibility". If we were better role models and did our job better, in a responsible way, he would finally understand what it means to step up and be a man.

We have failed you girls, and because of that, I am sorry.

If Gotham had Batman, then I have you

The first thing that caught my eye was your red shoes; in the crowd of people, wearing nothing but black and grey.

You were scratching your head in confusion and mumbling about something to your friend.  I could hear your voice speaking in a fast track and swearing at someone I know well, maybe even better than you. After all, I could be at least five years older than you. I was there; I remember what happened in the spring of 2009.

And then you turned unexpectedly. The sweat on your face showed how long you had been standing in that long line. Waiting for someone to take you in and ask you if you had tattoos on your body or whether or not you had been out of the country over the past six months.

But I knew none of those questions mattered to you. You were there to give life to someone you didn’t know and might never meet, and I was certain it didn’t matter to you who that person was.

Maybe you had the same dream as mine last night. Running from a man on a motorcycle with a heavy baton. The man in my dream had no face; all I could see was a scarf around his neck). I’m pretty sure if you’ve never dreamt of him, you have seen him in reality. Besides, You were born after he got the ultimate power.

So would you care if the blood you give, grants people like him a little more time? Give them something they’ve been meaning to take away from you? Would you care; my mysterious hero?

I rolled my eyes around the narrow waiting spot in front of the small door that has a sign reading “blood donations”. I could hear a boy that was gasping for air behind me. He was wearing loose jeans with a blue T-Shirt and I thought, anything he wears would look baggy on him; he was probably thinner than me. He had one of those faces that quickly alerts people around him. He would perhaps attract you, but I doubt that you would find it in your heart to trust him.

He was bald at such a young age and I find myself wanting to ask him whether he is following the new trend or had the man in my dreams shaved his head.

He was everything a religious person rejects, and an extremist might abolish. Do you think he cares whether he saves one of these peoples’ lives? Or did he come here simply because he wants to be here?

My little mysterious heroes, I didn’t know English when I was a little girl so I wasn’t able to read about Batman and Superman. But I know today, if Gotham had Batman, then I have you, my young countrymen.

Can hunger be a weapon?

     Two days ago, Iranians went to the poll desks and participated in the ninth parliament elections. The first national elections after the 2009 presidential election which resulted in crisis.

     The state media has declared that 62.4% of people have given their votes throughout the country.

I was in Iran two weeks before the elections. Tehran's streets and walls were filled with different ads and posters, 'asking' people to give their votes in a sign of 'unity'. However, wherever I looked, I saw unhappy citizens who are struggling to live under harsh economical conditions.

     In a long conversations that I had with different people, from a taxi driver to an university professor, one thing was certain; everyone predicted that citizens participation in the election would be huge. "People don't even care what is happening. Look at the Gas situation for example; the rate could go on to 10 dollars per gallon and people would still be clueless," said Mahmoud, a taxi driver who was driving me around the town.

     On March 2nd, Hooman Majd wrote an article in the opinion page of The New York Times about the current situation in Iran. He talks about how the sanctions that have been imposed on Iranian people over the past year wouldn't have any positive effect, as the West wants, on their desire to stand up to the Islamic regime.

     Mr. Majd anticipates that Iranians have to be ensured about their future rather than being hungry and scared to eventually use their voice against their government. "The ever more stringent sanctions imposed on Iran may be “biting,” but they are also stifling voices for change — voices that simply cannot be heard at a time when the population is threatened with an economic chokehold or, worse, with being bombed," Mr. Majd says. 

     There is no doubt that a significant fact lays in Mr. Majd's words; and that fact is that frightened people will have very little desire to go on the streets and demand what they want from their government. The same government that managed to suffocate the voice of thousands of people who came to the streets after the 2009 presidential elections. In some way, Iranians are still paying the price for what had happened on those days. Activists and journalists are still being imprisoned; students are being expelled from universities. Could we really blame people in being scared with this overview? With a bad economy that is making the poor even more poor what do people have to arm themselves with against the Islamic regime? Can hunger and uncertainty work as a weapon?

The 69th annual Golden Globe

     The Iranian movie "Separation" just won the 69th Golden Globe for best foreign movie. This is huge. I just wanted to put it out there. I'm beyond happy. Thank you Asghar Farhadi for making it happen.

Thank you.

From this day

     If anyone visits my blog today, then they'll probably notice that I have just started it this morning; so from this day I will be blogging! 

To be honest, that sounds a bit strange to me. Because from where I come from (and that would be Iran), blogging is dangerous (and those who know me never say: Oh Golnaz, that courageous girl!). Seriously, I wouldn't want to end up in jail for writing very simple things. 

     However, when I woke up this morning I felt like something had changed in me. Maybe it was the snow that hit Vancouver today for the first time this year, or maybe it was my lack of confidence when I looked at myself in the mirror. Whatever it was, it made me start a blog.

So I raise my glass of black tea to my new blog as I hope you would too someday.